This is a public service?

This is a public service?
There is a run of ads out that our tax dollars paid for to keep kids off of drugs. This run is called "Above the influence". I think that that is as clever as they get and that isn't very clever. I really want to make a lot of money doing this stuff. I get to make a lot of taxpayer money, feel good, and become a part of a culture. The culture that I get to become a part of is the long running line of terrible and incidentally funny anti-drug ads. Someday VH-1, or some other network that loves to fill time slots with meaningless pop culture drivel, will put all these ads together and let different burnt out rock stars and burnt out comedians lampoon them.

The first of these ads in this history is almost as famous as the "I've fallen and I can't get up" ads. The ad I speak of is none other than the "This is your brain, (flash to shot of a frying pan, man breaks egg on the edge and drops the egg into the pan, eerily, you can hear the egg sizzle, ooooo)this is your brain on drugs". Of course the comedian Bill Hicks (not burnt out, just dead) has already relentlessly made fun of this ad. The punch line being "How dare you send a middle age alcoholic to tell me to not do drugs". The guy in the ad did seem like some drunken trucker who is angry at whoever he's talking to. He says, "Ok, I'm not gonna tell you this again, this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs". So the point is of course that drugs fry your brain like an egg in a pan. Yeah we get it. The question is, did anyone at all who saw the ad think to themselves, "I don't want my brain to fry like an egg, I'm never going to do drugs, that scares the shit out of me" And did anyone else say "Man I need to stop doing drugs, that is really profound". I haven't done any research on the matter, but I would say that it didn't have that effect. I bet it had no effect but a lot of people making fun of it. By the way, as funny and infamous as the "I've fallen and I can't get up" ads are, I know that they actually sold the product. You see it is funny to most of us. But the ad was not trying to sell to us, it knew it's target audience, and for that target audience they addressed a real fear. Older people are not as cynical towards ads as our generation is either. They didn't need it to be clever to get the point.

Don't get me wrong. It's a good sentiment. Drugs screw a lot of kids up. It is a good thing to try to get them to not do them. But these guys are just pissing in the wind on this. They are trying to be clever and they are totally out of touch with the brain of users and the brains of teens.

I don't watch television much, so I'm out of the loop, but I saw this ad from "Above the Influence" the other day. This girl is in a middle class kitchen getting milk or orange juice or something, suddenly her dog jumps on a stool next to her. Then the dog speaks, "I miss the times we used to spend with each other, I miss you before you started doing drugs" The girl looks sad (not shocked mind you) and the ad ends. Now that is a paraphrase. I've only seen the ad once. I understand what the underlying theme is: the girl or me as the viewer is losing the precious years of childhood to drug use, I get that. But I don't think that is how most drug users would view the ad. Let's say that this girl is real, and that she is doing drugs, how might this ad look in the real world.

Scene: Girl walks into kitchen. She has dark circles under her eyes. She is frantically looking for something to eat. Her dog jumps on the stool next to her. The dog begins to speak.

Dog: I miss you Sarah, I miss the way we played together, I miss the way you were before you started doing drugs.

Sarah drops the glass she is drinking from and shrinks back from the dog in sheer terror.

Sarah: Holy shit! You just talked! Holy shit!

Dog: Yes Sarah, I did, I wish you would stop doing drugs.

Sarah stares at the dog, slowly her terror turns to wonder and even delight

Sarah: Whoa this is like Dr. Doolittle man. I can hear my dog speaking this is awesome!

Dog: That's great, but I'm trying to tell you something important here, drugs are taking away your childhood, they are ruining your life.

Sarah: Yeah but I never heard you speak to me before I did drugs, this is awesome.

Dog: Umm, you're missing the point.

Sarah: So tell me, do dogs really see in only black and white? Why do you like eating horse turds, what is up with that?

Dog: Sarah, listen to me, you need to stop doing drugs

Sarah: If I stop doing drugs then I won't hear you speak anymore right?

Dog: Umm, I don't know...I just think that you need to play more and be a little girl.

Sarah: I don't want to play with you anymore; I've got a boyfriend and stuff. Hey I wonder if he can hear you too, he's on drugs.

Dog: Oh to hell with it.

Dog leaps down and runs away. Sarah picks up the phone and calls her boyfriend.

Sarah: Seth you got to get over here, I've got some good shit going on right now, my dog just spoke to me!

Dog yells from the other room.

Dog: Leave me alone.

Sarah: Come on this is awesome, come on tell me why you like eating turds, come on....

Scene fades out.

So that is how I saw it at least.

You know it isn't that hard to get this point across, it really isn't. I was watching Freaks and Geeks last night. I have never watched it before. That show is awesome. It is grounded in some reality about the teen years. This episode about Halloween had an underlying theme about growing up and losing some of your childhood. Now it wasn't addressing drugs, but it could have been used to. The girl in the show is struggling to find herself. Her mom is looking forward to them handing out candy to the Trick or Treaters together. The whole thing is some kind of mother /daughter bonding thing. The daughter doesn't want to hurt her mom's feelings, but she is drawn by the desire to go out and hang with the "freaks". At the last moment she ditches her mom and goes out. Mom is sad, but she soldiers on trying to be cheery and handing out cookies. In the car the girl finds out that the "freaks" want to raise a little hell, first they smash pumpkins, then they clobber mailboxes with a bat, then the egging begins. Accidentally she eggs her own brother and her conscience finally can't take anymore. She goes home and sees that Halloween for her whole family is ruined for one reason or another. Some part of her knows that the person she was in the car with the "freaks" isn't really her. She puts on the costume that her mom got for her and hands out candy with her mom for the remainder of the night. She hasn't found who she is, but at least she is around love. Now my synopsis may make it sound cornball, but it really wasn't it seemed like so many events that most of us can relate to. So make an ad with that same feel; the idea that you are leaving behind a childhood for something that doesn't fit. I can imagine the ad starting off with pictures of a little girl progressing into her teen years, maybe home movies. Then you cut to showing her in a park with her friends and she looks at the camera. No dialogue, just one sentence at the end. "Who are you becoming"? It is haunting and daunting. It won't affect all the kids, but I guarantee it will get few. Not all drug users are motivated by the same thing anyway. As a substitute I see so many girls that just want an identity. If they aren't smart, athletic, rich, naturally attractive, etc, they try to find something that brands them. The bad girl image is available to many as a result. But being a bad girl comes with a heavy price, you have to be bad and the ante is always going up.

My whole point is this. You can't hire ad wizards to get this message out. You have to have people who have been there, or who actually give a shit. I believe that love is the most important quality an artist must possess. You have to love your audience. Our culture is losing this. Most bands, writers, and creative people in general engage in lots of self-love, but they rarely project it out. If you can't cry for these kids that you want to help, you can't help them. Clever just won't cut it.